Monday, April 21, 2008

and so the lying begins

I was sitting at the kitchen table on Saturday, minding my own business,
when I thought, "Hey, why in the world is it so quiet?"
I could hear Jack and Will watching cartoons in the living room
But I couldn't hear Addison.
My first thought was he was outside, running down the street,
on the brink of life threatening danger or
possibly hitching a ride to Tijuana with a passerby...
(Alright....I have an overactive imagination.)
So I called his name and I heard a faint rustling in my bedroom closet.
And then he came to the door of the kitchen looking like this....

And I looked at him and said, "Addison, have you been eating chocolate?"
And he shamelessly shook his head "no". "No" with a chocolate smeared face.
Not to mention that he failed to locate a tissue and blow his nose,
but that, dear readers, is beside the point.
And I said,"Addison, do not lie to Mommy. Say "Yes, Mom."
And he said,"Yeth, Mom." All the while looking at me like,
"How in the world did she figure out I had been eating chocolate?"
And then I went in search of the hidden chocolate stash,
because if he had found some hidden chocolate, I wanted in on it.
And I went into my closet and saw this....

In case you don't recognize what "this" is, "this" is a vast array of tinfoil shavings from all manner of Christmas stocking chocolate.
And on the one hand, thank God he didn't eat the tinfoil.
And on the other hand, it seems wrong that my two year old is eating Christmas
stocking leftovers in my closet, in April.
Apparently, Scott never ate his Christmas stocking candy and had left a small
horde of it in the know it wasn't mine because I surely ate every
last little morsel of my Christmas stocking candy.
But that really isn't the point either.
The point is that he lied. And he lied poorly.
Now I understand how chocolate can break a person right down and make you
do things that if you were in your right mind, you would think twice about,
like lying to your mother right to her face.
But I must say to my son, don't do it. It doesn't pay. Just confess.
Somehow by God's special gift, mothers can tell when their children are lying.
Especially when chocolate is involved.

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Erica said...

You had me cracking up over "somehow chocolate can break a person right down..." I do believe that is a generational curse in our family! Or a blessing...I don't know.

Leslie said...

It's so hard not to laugh when they do that stuff, though. LesP

kevin said...

Of course we never want our little ones to lie. But if they are going to lie, then at least we can hope that they will continue lie poorly. We really have to start worrying when they figure out how to lie really well.

Brianna Inman said...

I'm totally there with you. This is a conversation I have had several times with Avery as we are trying to learn to use the potty.

"Avery did you just go poop in your diaper"
"Who stinks then?"
"I think Royce (our dog) stinks"
I then proceed to feel her diaper to see if there is a poop lump.
"Avery what is in your diaper?"
"Did you poop in your diaper?"
And so on, until I am done with the question and lying and after me explaining to her that she is lying, I changer her diaper, and it starts all over again next time.