Friday, November 7, 2008

get thee behind me snickers

I could just stop with the title on this one.
Three words. Boy's. Halloween. Candy.
Three more words. I. Can't. Resist.
No one knows the perils of halloween candy better than I.
I don't purchase candy that I like for Halloween's trick or treaters.
I know myself better than that. I never buy chocolate to hand out.
I buy tootsie rolls and dots and tootsie pops.
They could be in the house with me for years and I would never touch them.
But you can never really protect yourself from the candy that your own children bring home. You really can't.
Because it sits in plastic pumpkins on top of the fridge
mocking you with its chocolatey tiny loveliness .
"Look up here! Look up here!" call out the little snickers.
"One little fun size candy bar won't hurt!" shout the mini reeses cups.
I'm going to be my emotionally fragile state in the presence of so
much chocolate...I believe I ate 5 mini snickers yesterday.
I say 5. It could have been 7. I'm not sure. I was awash in a chocolate haze.
Thankfully, there are no more snickers in the house. Because I ate them all.
I think I'm safe for now. I'm just going to pretend that yesterday never happened.
Even though I do believe my thighs now touch in the middle
due to my high snickers intake in the past 24 hours.
Thank God Halloween only comes once a year.
But keep the prayers coming, tsgs...Candy Cane Jo-Jo's just arrived at Trader Joe's.
There is no rest for the chocolate challenged.

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Erica said...

Oh the perils of the thighs touching! Not good. My runner friend calls it the "chub rub". And who wants that? No one. That's all I have to say about that.

Jess said...

The problem I've encountered with this exact issue 3-year-old is now old enough to NOTICE which candy is gone. She will sit with her bucket in her lap and rifle through the pieces periodically. So the trick there is: I can only 'steal' a piece in which there are at least 2 others of the same brand in the bucket. And man pickins' are getting slim now...Now I have to resort to begging my 9 year old for some out of her bucket. Fortunately she's a sweetheart and happily obliges!

Kelly @ Love Well said...

Do NOT come visit me right now. There is chocolate pouring out of every cupboard. It's like some sort of candy horror movie in here.

"The candy might be eaten. But it's never really gone."

By the way, I love that you love Trader Joe's. I tried the Pumpkin Bread Mix on your recommendation -- the first bread I've EVER made from a box -- and IT WAS FABULOUS. I can't stop making it now. Especially with dried cranberries added in.

Brittanie said...

I love mini snickers and my favorite are the holiday colored packaging. My sister and I are horrible candy eaters. :(

susanna said...

Kelly, my pants are so very tight right now I will not be coming to visit your chocolate laden home. But I am going to have to try the pumpkin muffins WITH cranberries now that you have mentioned it. Have you tried them with chocolate chips? Have I mentioned my pants are tight? The chocolate and the pants are a terrible cycle. Sue

amy said...

the Snickers lasted longer in your house than mine! Of course, I have two who can't eat peanuts, so of course I "had" to eat all the Snickers (and Peanut Butter Cups, Baby Ruths and Pay Days) and fast! Luckily all the "good stuff" is gone here too :)

Kara said...


Yeah - those will do it to ya every time!! Little girl didn't even get that much candy, but what she did get was sitting on my counter calling to me as well. I am impressed you only had 5 (or 7) pieces of candy in one day. I wish I could have done that well. :-)

Pamela said...

Okay, so I was just thinking about this...I am rationing the candy with the kids only to have "one more piece" myself!

The irony today is I was making myself a lunch as I will be gone for the day. I know I will want candy, but I purposely didn't take any. My daughter comes up and says, "You need one these (candies) for your lunch to be finished."

"Get thee behind me candy!"

There will be no thigh talk from this girl at this time...

Bronwen said...

I know! I already spotted the Candy Cane Joe-Joes (sp?) and thought of you immediately. Well... I guess I will confess that I ate an unmentionable number of oatmeal-chocolate chip-coconut-pecan cookies today that I made last night. They are just sooo good. And unfortunately do not only come once a year, though maybe I should make that a rule... I do so love your blogging. When will you come to So Cal? Anytime soon? We could munch joe-joes together and sip tea (to make it seem more sophisticated).