when people say nice things I cry

As those of you who mother small people know,
while there is a lot of non-verbal affirmation that
goes along with our job in the way of hugs and kisses,
it is very rare that a 5 year old pipes up and says,
"Hey, Mom...I just wanted to take the time to let you know that the way you clothe and feed me really impacts me in a positive way. I really appreciate all the clean
underwear and healthy snacks that you send my way.
And mostly, you should know that you are awesome."
Nope, that just doesn't happen.
Mostly, I am glad to get a thank you here and there.
And those are mostly prompted thank yous...by me. You know how it goes.
"Mom, can I have some juice?" (child)
"Mom, can I have some juice, PLEASE?" (me)
"Mom, can I have some juice, please?" (child)
"Of course, you can have some juice." (me)
Silence. (child)
"Thank you for the juice, Mom." (me)
Silence. (child)
"THANK YOU FOR THE JUICE, MOM." (me)
"Thanks for the juice." (child)
It takes the joy away when one has to work for the gratitude.
So the thing that has caught me off guard in the last few days
is that people keep saying nice things about the book.
First of all, the fact that people are buying the book is amazing.
Secondly, that they are responding to it...TO ME...I can't seem to take it.
Immediately my face crumples and I begin to cry.
So for each of you that has e-mailed me or facebooked me or left a kind comment,
you should know that I have just sat in front of my computer and cried.
And Scott is unsure of where to go with this. Because, we're happy, right?
This is what we wanted, right? RIGHT?
He sent out an facebook invite for the book launch party.
Each time it pops up that someone is coming, I start crying again.
Then I got an email with the first book tour photo.
Next stop on the tour...Diza's nightstand.

I cried. There could be dehydration in my future.
Either that or I may need to go in and get my hormones checked.
But just so you know? I am grateful. To you. And to Jesus.
And that's all I'm saying.
Lest I sound like I am accepting a golden globe award.
And because I'm starting to tear up again.

ps Thought you should know that the first book sighting at Barnes and Nobles
went down in true tired supergirl style.
One child threw himself bodily to the floor screaming,
"I no wanna go Barn and Noble!"
Another was clutching himself, chanting rather loudly,
"I have to go pee pee! I have to go pee pee!" and the 3rd child
kept getting lost in amongst the rows of other peoples books.
Life as it should be.