Tuesday, February 5, 2013

sometimes life is bittersweet

This week I am speaking at the Minister's Wives and Women Ministers retreat for our district.
I love these ladies. They are my peeps.
We live the same lives and we get each other.
We get 2 days to laugh. Cry. Pray. And laugh together more.
I know it is going to be a wonderful weekend with friends but
it is going to be a mix of happy and sad.
This is the retreat that my friend, Shelly and I would go to together.
Last year at the retreat, Shelly shared about her battle with cancer
and sang Laura Story's song. You know the one that says,
"What if your blessings come through raindrops, what if your healing comes through tears".
It wiped us all out. Tissue was out. I was wiping my face with a giant dinner napkin.
Shelly's song was hard to listen to.
I didn't want her to have to walk the hard path that she was walking.
But the faith and hope that she sang with lifted our hearts.
When my friend, Teri, asked me if I would be willing to speak at the retreat,
Shelly was still alive.
But when I drive up to the retreat this year, I will be driving alone.
Shelly is having a party in heaven. And I feel sick at the thought of going without her.
I told Teri, "How do you think it will go over, if I just get up and cry?"
And she said, " We'll cry with you." I know Teri will.
She was one of Shelly's closest friends.
I know that God will give me words to speak because He has met me at every
turn in this journey.
He is so good and faithful.
But going to the retreat makes Shelly being gone so very real.
I can hardly stand it.
But I have decided that I am going to do three things in Shelly's honor this weekend.
1. I am going to laugh. Because that is what we did best together.
2. I am going to eat good food. Because we were experts at that.
3. And I am going to buy something at the Gap (so sorry, Scott) because
that is what we did together last year.
Oh and I am going to hug my peeps a lot and tell them I love them.
Because that's what I wish I could do to Shelly most of all.

2 comments:

Denise Schoephoerster said...

Tears at 7am are good. It starts the day relieved of any pent up feelings. Thanks for sharing.

pamelitarose said...

I'm so sorry for your loss...I lost my dad last year and I think it help to do some of the things he loved...like watch sports on TV, or eat good wings or yummy chocolate, and mostly remember all the good.

Hope you are truly blessed at wm's retreat! I'm surfeit will be fab, and God will speak a good word through you and the tears...