Science flu is what you get when you cross a vicious virus with
one mother and 3 children trying to complete their science fair projects.
Since I and 2 of my children are battling low grade fevers, sore throats and
congested heads it makes the process of putting together a science fair project
seems like adding evil upon evil.
Like getting chicken pox and then contracting boils.
Or like doing chemistry AND geometry at the same time.
In other words...something that was my least favorite thing in the world
is now even more un-favorite.
Is that even a word?
It is now.
Imagine me, nursing my wee cup of sudafed, while yelling mixed directions from
"Who left the cap of the glue stick? We have ONE glue stick, people."
"Please don't breathe on Will. He is healthy. Breathe only on people who are already sick."
"You are not allowed to change the results of your experiment just so you can say
that you proved your hypothesis...that is called cheating."
"If you don't squirt saline up your nose right now, I am taking away video games for a year."
"We are not reprinting that page. It is already glued on your board. I don't care if
you misspelled a word. Now they will know it is authentic and that I did not
complete your project."
"If you refuse to use tissue, can you please at least not wipe your nose on the couch?"
"Glue down the corners of the pages. Do you want everything to fall off of your board?
You don't care about your board? You know who really doesn't care about your board?
That would be me."
and finally in one horribly glorious moment of ultimate failure as a mother and/or science fair
"I give up on all of you. I'm done."
To which my oldest son Jack told Addison the eight year old,
"Don't worry, Addie. I will help you with your science fair project....
even if Mom has given up on you."
He says this looking pitiful and washed out, while hacking up one of his lungs.
By no small feat, all three of the projects were completed and dropped off at school yesterday.
Tonight is the night that the projects will be judged.
Scott is out of town.
Only Will will be attending.
The rest of us will be staying home trying not to infect the populace.
I am going to crawl into bed and ask Jesus to do a new and glorious work of healing
in my nostrils and especially in my heart.
That I will be a new creation inside and out.
That I will become patient and loving and kind even in the face of many trials...
(science fair and flu included.).
And then I am going to pray that He will wipe my children's memories of this past week
like a Jedi mind trick.
Or at least drench them with the spirit of compassion and forgiveness.
And then I will offer up a prayer of thanksgiving.
THANK YOU, JESUS, THAT SCIENCE FAIR IS OVER FOR ONE MORE YEAR!
Can I get an Amen?